


He never knows

by Phillindashipperalltheway



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, High School Memories, Phil Coulson is a Dork, Phil Coulson is alive, and a hot nerd, and so clueless, just fuck the whole LMD and dying thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27200500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillindashipperalltheway/pseuds/Phillindashipperalltheway
Summary: At his thirty year high school meeting, a few things came to the surface that Phil Coulson was unaware of but Melinda knew all along.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 14
Kudos: 43





	He never knows

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there again! I wrote this little fic because I had no others things to do and because I simply love Phil Coulson! And I tried myself at a little smut but nothing too smutty.
> 
> All the errors you might find are all mine. If you find something impossible than please let me know!
> 
> All the characters and original story belong to ABC and Agens of Shield and are not mine!

“I am not so sure anymore if this really was a good idea” Phil said for the hundredth time.  
“You remember our extraction plan, Lin?” Melinda sighed.

“Phil, this isn't a mission, you are not an agent anymore. Please just calm down” Phil threw his hand up in the air. 

“ I wish I could! I don't know why I agreed to attend this in the first place”  
Melinda said nothing, just shook her head. For all the years she had known Phillip Coulson by now, she never saw him this anxious and nervous and in their shared time and career they had had plenty of situations to be anxious for.

But she couldn't help but smile slightly. She loved this man so much and his nervousness was endearing in a way she couldn't describe with words.

She walked up to him and stopped him in his pacing through the hotel room by placing a hand on his chest. No matter how many times she had touched him by now, she always marveled at the firmness and smoothness hidden under his clothes and the fact that her touch never failed to distract him. This time was no exception. He stopped immediately and looked down at her.

“Phil, please. You fought against mad alien gods, flaming ghosts, crazy out of control roboters, you were trapped in space, traveled through time and galaxies and you are still living to tell the tales, so just quit it down for a while, okay? This is just a high school meeting with ordinary, harmless people. Or at least I hope so” 

Phil drew in a deep breath. “You are right, of course you are. But, I don't know” Phil shrugged his shoulders “In high school I was never really popular and most of the kids thought me weird. You know, for my love of Captain America and good comic books. They called me a nerd and little fanboy and stuff” “Yeah, I can imagine” Melinda cupped his cheek with her other hand and ran her thumb over his cheekbone. “But that was a long time ago and now you are a man with experiences they couldn't even dream of. And besides, I am with you tonight. So if anyone call you something, I teach him or her a lesson”

Phil laughed quietly at that and pulled her closer to him. “Hmm” he hummed and Melinda could feel the vibration of the sound rumble through his body which sent a shiver over her own body. “If the mighty Melinda May is there to protect me than I have nothing to fear of”  
Instead of answering him with a snarky remark, she just stood up on her tiptoes and met his lips. Phil opened his mouth the slightest bit, just enough that she could pull his lower lip between her teeths. Phil knew how she liked to kiss him and she really liked to take her time, as did Phil. She loved to play with his lips a little bit, nibble on his lower one than soothing it over with her tongue before she seeked entrance into his warm, delicious mouth, exploring him thoroughly, regardless of how many times she had kissed him yet. She could never get enough of his taste and Phil Coulson tasted better than any man should have had a right to. He met her tongue with his own and she felt and heard his sigh. The hand on his chest travelled up to his shoulder, around his neck and into the soft strands of hair on the back of his scalp where it met her other hand and dug into his skin.  
Phil`s own hands weren't stilled either, one hand at her waist and the other tangled up in her hair.  
He groaned into her mouth when her tongue brushed against the underside of his tongue and he dug his nails deeper into her waist.

Eventually they had to come up for air but didn't get far away from each other. They still shared the same breath and Phil rested his forehead against hers. He smiled that smile that was only reserved for her, as Melinda never saw this smile on his handsome face with any other or in any other situation.  
“See”, she mumbled “Now you are feeling better” Phil nodded and stroked his hand up and down her back.  
When he placed his hand on her ass and squeezed it lightly, he met her eyes and said

“We don't have to go. We have a wonderful hotel room all by ourselves and much, much time…”   
She kissed him quickly on his lips and then pushed him gently away.  
“Not gonna happen, Coulson. As tempting as that sounds, the prospect of meeting all your former classmates who knew you in your teenage years and hearing embarrassing stories about nerdy Phil is by far more tempting now”  
Phil pouted. “You can't be serious”, he whined while he took his tie from a chair and beginning to loop it around his neck “You know of all the cringy stories that ever happened to me in my life” Melinda took over for him in tying his tie and smoothed it down over his pale blue dress shirt that he wore under a simple grey suit. It was a while ago she saw him wearing his familiar suits and she had to admit, he looked bashfully handsome. He always does but the blue shirt he was wearing now brought his eyes out even more and the simple grey of his jacket complimented his well built statue, from his broad shoulders to his muscled chest over his flat stomach and long and strong legs. His ass in the suit pants looked round and firm and so touchable but was covered when he put on his suit jacket. 

“Besides”, he continued “I doubt that anybody will remember much from me. Girls and boys alike pretty much ignored me and if they didn't they mocked me”  
“Well, we`ll see” Melinda only said and smiled smugly at him and then went to grab the keys from the desk. “Now, let's go. The stories won`t tell themselves” She couldn't resist on her way past him and gave his ass a tight squeeze, enjoying the handful of firm muscles in her palm, to which he answered with a low laugh and a following groan. “You are not playing fair”, he complained and followed her out of their room. “You can't deny me sex and then touch me like this. That is simply cruel”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil paid the taxi and then turned to her. His nervousness from before was back and he looked around with a wary look, like he suspected someone jumped out from behind a tree and started mocking him for his comics at any moment.  
The building in front of them looked like any other school building in America, grey and big and boring, but tonight it was decorated in lights and banners.  
The biggest banner above the entrance door read “Welcome back to Wisconsin High School after 35 years” From the inside noises and light reached them.  
Phil gulped, grabbed her hand with his right one and then went over to the doors.  
Inside they were met with a surprisingly warm atmosphere. A desk stood to the right with a middle aged, brown haired woman with a friendly face and an excited smile.

“Over here” she called as soon as they entered the hall “Your name tags”

Phil nodded and strode to her. “Hi” he smiled “ I am …”  
The woman interrupted him with a bright grin “Phillip J. Coulson!” she exclaimed, seemingly happily. “Of course I know who you are. I could never forget your face, Phil, even after more than thirty years” The woman stood up, went around her desk and enveloped him in a tight hug which Phil reciprocated surprised. The woman let go of him and gave him a long once over. “You are looking really good” she bowed her head up and down and her grin never faded “You know who I am, don't you”, she then asked.

Melinda could tell that he actually did know it but wasn't so sure.

“Well, I would say Catelyn” he hesitated and then continued “Catelyn Spencer, right?” the woman nodded. “That`s me”  
Phil turned slightly back to Melinda, took her hand and then said with a smile to Catelyn Spencer before him “It's so nice to meet you again, Catelyn. This is my wife Melinda. Melinda, that is Catelyn Spencer. I think we shared history and sports together, didn't we?” Catelyn nodded and reached her hand out to shake Melinda`s. “It's nice to meet you Melinda” Catelyn threw Phil a side glance and then continued after she gave Melinda a quick once over “Phil, your wife really is beautiful! I hope you know that?” Phil`s smile grew bigger at these words and he proudly replied “That she is. And I still don't know how I managed to end up with her but I try my best every day to be the best husband she can possibly get” 

Melinda rolled her eyes at that but she had to admit that he really was the best husband anyone could ever wish for. He was thoughtful in his actions and respectful in his manners, he paid attention to the little details, he always made sure that she was fine and happy and he was a damn fantastic lover who always managed to leave her breathless and beyond satisfied. 

“I can only imagine”, Catelyn answered with a light longing in her nonchalant tone which Phil of course didn't catch. “Here”, she turned back to her desk and gave him a name tag with his full name on it. Then she grabbed a pen and scribbled ` Mrs. Coulson` on it before giving it to her, too. “You have table number twenty-one together with Nicole, Brian and Carol and their spouses”   
“Thanks” Phil took the little plastic thing from her and tugged it carefully on his suit jacket “Will I see you later again?”  
“I surely hope so”, Catelyn winked playfully at him and nodded at Melinda friendly.

Phil took her hand again and together they went through the double doors into the big aula. The aula was arranged into multiple tables across the room and a rather big stage at the end of the hall. And it was decorated nicely enough with white lamps hanging from the ceiling and casting a white and warm glow across the whole place. The hall was already filled with people and full of voices and laughter and conversations.

As soon as Phil and her entered the scene, a female voice greeted them in an exciting, almost hysterical manner “Oh my god, if isn't that Phillip James Coulson!” A pretty, blonde woman strode to them, followed by three more women and she too didn't hesitate one second to hug him and kiss him on the cheek which the other women seemed to take as an example and they too hugged and kissed him joyfully and excitedly. 

Phil on the other hand seemed to be overwhelmed by the enthusiastic greetings.

“Well, good evening, ladies” he said in his usual warm but now slightly curious sounding voice. The women before him giggled and the blonde one said “Still a gentleman”

Phil smiled at them and then took his stand next to her and said to the woman before him:

“I am very happy to see you all again. That is my wife Melinda. Melinda, these ladies I went to school with” A subtle way to admit that he didn't have a clue who they are, Melinda thought. `Real smooth` The women standing in front of them shifted their attention to Melinda and eyed her up. One of the women let out a sigh.

“I always wondered which girl would be lucky enough to end up with the hot nerd”, she said.

Phil sent her a funny look “Hot nerd?”, he repeated warily. “ I am not sure I like to know where that is coming from” The women shared a look among themselves. It was a mix of disbelief, embarrassment and curiosity. Eventually the blonde woman spoke up again, with an uncertain tone. “You don't know?” she asked.

Phil shrugged his shoulders “Should I?”

“It isn't that complicated” the woman began to explain. Melinda had a feeling she knew where that explanation would be leading to, after all she experienced it at the academy and later on in her whole career together with Phil.

“That's what we called you back then. Because you were a hot, cute guy with this nerdiness about him. Well, honestly you simply were a nerd but, like I said, a hot one with perfect manners. A majority of the girls were head over heels for you but you never had any interest in any of us. Eventually we came to the conclusion that you simply were gay but then again you never showed interest in any of the guys, either and the ones who would have come in question, were equally hot for you. So nobody couldn't say for sure and we kept hoping” 

The woman sent a stunned Phil an incredulous look. “Surely you knew?”

Phil opened his mouth and closed it again, clearly lost for words. He looked at Melinda for help. “He didn't know”, Melinda simply said “He never knows. It took me an eternity to gain his attention and even then I was the one who made a move”

Phil`s stunned expression turned insulted at her words “I was the one who kissed you first!”

Melinda grimaced “After I practically shouted into your face that I love you”  
“You did shout”  
“Exaggeration. But the point is” she said to the women who listened to their little exchange with rapt attention “He never knows”

“I can tell” one of them said “I was in love with him for my entire high school years but he never gave me more than an eyebeat of attention”

“Yeah, me too”, another woman joined in “He always had his nose buried into a book or a sheet of homework papers”

The third woman hummed an affirmative hum and just kept looking at Phil.  
Melinda knew that look all too well, she saw it many times before and though she didn't appreciate it that she was staring at her husband like he was the most delicious piece of a cake ever, she couldn't blame anyone for it either. And she couldn't blame anyone for falling in love with Phil Coulson, too, after all she was one of them, she just was the one he loved back and so she just had to go along with the ever ongoing swooning over her husband. There wasn't much she could do about it anyway, she can't just go around and tell people how to feel or how to react and she knew that Phil was loyal and loved her. And he was clueless, regardless of how many times he was hitted by a woman or man.

“I didn't know that”, Phil stammered helplessly “I always was under the impression that you were just ignoring me and the guys always made fun of me, so I had no reason to assume you were… you know, interested”

The woman directly before him rolled her eyes “Of course the guys didn't appreciate all the attention you got from the girls” she said matter of factly “They always tried to make you look less appealing but they weren't very successful” 

“Yeah”, one of the women added “And that didn't change one bit. I was so excited to meet you again, I wondered what you would look like now and I have to admit: You are looking even better than in the past. I mean” she shrugged, sent Melinda an apologetic look and went on with her gushing “Back then you were a cute, nerdy boy but now you are a very handsome man, more handsome than most men I met. Sorry Mrs. Coulson” the last sentence she threw in Melinda`s direction. The other women nodded in agreement and Melinda waved her hand “It's okay, I am used to it”

Meanwhile Phil had turned a lovely shade of red. He rubbed his neck in an embarrassed and shy manner and he struggled for words, so Melinda decided to step in and lighten the mood.

“He still is a nerd”, she said and it had the desired effect. Phil turned to her with a frown on his face and a slight pout.

“How can you say that? I am a serious, grown man today”

“Yes, tell that your comic book collection”

“The reason I kept them so long was because I had the hope to read them to our grandkids one day”

“Alya definitely likes them”

“See? Couldn't have kept that from her. And I bet Daniel will love to read them to his kids some day”

She shot Phil a look. That surely put a damper on her teasing mood. She liked Daniel a lot and she was so happy that Daisy allowed herself to love again after everything she went through but grandchildren were hopefully a little further away. Daisy was just so young after all.

Phil got the meaning of her look and he immediately backpaled.

“I said some day” he added apologetic “No daughter of mine will get pregnant after one year in a relationship, as much as I like Daniel. They aren't even married. Yet” 

Melinda nodded grimly and then looked at the women who were yet again listening to their little exchange with full attention.

“ I think we are going to search for our table now,” she said. The women nodded and the blonde one answered “ Of course. And Mrs. Coulson: I am very sorry for all the gushing. But I fear your husband is owing me one dance later” Melinda couldn't help herself but grin. She knew the woman didn't mean it flirtatious or suggestive, she simply wanted to dance with Phil, probably because he hadn't danced with her on the prom and Melinda got the feeling that she wasn't the only one.   
“Of course” she replied “Phil isn't a bad dancer but first we have to eat” Phil sent her a curious look which she ignored.

They found their table easy enough and their companions weren't bad company at all. Nicole was a slim, pretty, brown haired woman with bright green eyes and a sympathetic smile who admitted she was one of Phil's fangirls. She was divorced for a few years now and came alone as opposed to Carol, a friendly round woman with a funny, bald man at her side. Brian was a tall man with short blonde hair and a loud voice and he was accompanied by an equally tall woman with black, curly hair. 

When all the official greetings were done, the dinner was saved. Or better said, it was a large buffett but delicious.

They chatted away comfortable while they ate and answered questions about their lives and jobs and kids and listened to the others. They told the people that they met at college, are married for appromaxily thirty years now, that they had four kids and that they were working for the government in an advising position which wasn't so far away from the truth. Now and then the government and even the other agencies did seek them out for advice and it was paid well enough.

After two hours or so, more and more people began to attend the dancing floor and soon enough, the blonde woman from earlier came up to them and asked Phil for a dance. He looked at Melinda questiongly and she only shrugged her shoulders and nodded with a grin. She knew she wouldn't see much of him for a while. 

Brian and his wife, as well as Carol with her husband too stood up to take the dance floor.  
That left Nicole and her alone, watching what happened around them.

“It's so nice to meet all of my former classmates again. After so many years”, Nicole said conversationally.  
Melinda looked her way to let her know she was listening.

“It is so interesting to see how they changed and what they became. A few are as expected, others on the other hand are a total surprise” she winked at Melinda.

“Phil came out as expected,” she said. Melinda raised an eyebrow.

“How so?”

Nicole sighed wistfully. “You know, I always suspected that he would be happily married one day. Yes, there was a time where I dreamed that would be me, but he is a romantic, he has that in his eyes. I thought that, when he eventually settled down he would be a great father and an excellent husband. He never showed any interest in any romantic way in any other person when I knew him but he just had that about him. He was never a womanizer in any way and that made him even more attractive. I don't know, I just thought that he would end up as a family father” Melinda really had a hard time holding back a snicker. How could it be that someone was so right and so wrong at the same time?

Phil did make the perfect husband but he spent the majority of his professional years with espionage, hunting down people, fighting against drug dealers, weapon dealers, aliens, roboters, ghosts and traveling through different dimensions and galaxies. Nothing in his years at Shield was domestic or calm, he fought and he killed, he died and came back and lost himself in the process. In the process of finding himself again, he made mistakes and he always took the blame and hard calls on himself. He had wailed in pain and anger and nearly gone insane before he found the right path back again. 

So no, he never settled down in the normal way, he never got married, he never got children, he never lived in a house in some suburbs with a white fence and children playing in the backyard, he never was the man Nicole thought him of.

But at the same time, he never lost his hope, he never lost his friendly and gentle manner, he never lost his faith in humanity, he never lost the ability to love. He was always the first one to give people a second chance and see all the hidden potential, regardless of how many times he was proven wrong or how many other people doubted his decision.

He got the children and family he dreamed of and wished for.   
He married her in the end and he really was an excellent husband, romantic and gentle and loving.

So yes, he was the man Nicole thought him of.  
“He is really smitten with you” Nicole continued “And I have to admit, that looks good on him”

Melinda smiled.

“But please tell me” Nicole leaned over the little distance between them to whisper: “How is it to be married to him? Is he a good lover?” Melinda nearly laughed out loud. Now that was a question nobody had asked her ever before!

“He is a great husband and an even better lover”, she replied. It was nice to talk to someone who didn't see him as a father figure and wouldn't freak out at mere thought of they kissing or, worse, having sex.

Nicole grinned. “I knew it” again she sighed, this time a bit dreamily while looking over to Phil who was dancing with another woman.

Four dances with different women and one man later, Melinda decided that it was now her time to dance with Phil, even if she claimed all the time dancing wasn't her thing. She knew that Phil knew better.

When the current song ended and Phil released the woman in his arms who had a deep blush on her face and seemed happy enough where she was staying, he turned to her with a bright, blinding smile and offered her his hand. The next song started and Phil pulled her close. His right hand rested comfortably at the small of her back and lightly caressed the exposed skin there. Her dress was cut low and had a bare back because she knew it would drive Phil crazy.

She inhaled deeply his divine smell and whispered teasingly in his ear “Now, how many people do you think ignored you tonight? Or in your school years for that matter?”

Phil groaned quietly. “You are never gonna let me live that down, are you?”  
“Nope”

He sighed dramatically and his hand began to travel up and down her spine. Melinda suppressed a shiver, that would only make him smug and let her hands wander on her own. She lightly caressed his strong shoulders and then put her hands around his neck and treated her fingers in the tiny strands of hair at his scalp. She enjoyed their softness and the warmth of their closeness and his wonderful smell around her.

She looked him in the eyes which looked lovingly back at her and a contend smile was plastered on his face.

She was about to tease him a little more when he beat her to it.

“You are enjoying this. It doesn't matter how many times you deny it, you enjoy dancing with me”, he said with a joyful twinkle in his intoxicating, beautiful blue eyes.

Melinda only growled as an answer.  
“A little bit?” he asked.

“A little bit”, she answered in a resigned tone. 

He chuckled quietly and borrowed his nose into her long hair that fell loosely over her shoulders. He inhaled deeply and stayed like that while his hand on her back continued to caress her gently and he managed to never break his dancing rhythm.

His breath in her hair and skilled hand on her back combined with the feel of his body pressed so deliciously into hers made it harder for her to suppress a shiver but she was aware of the watchful looks she knew where casted their way.

Phil seemed to fail to notice their audience, after the song ended he just continued to hold her and once in a while he dropped little kisses on the top of her head and on its side. A new song started to play and he simply swayed along with it. Her head was laying on his shoulder, her nose touched his collar and one hand laid on his right shoulder and the other rested on his wide and firm back.

The swaying motions were slowly lulling her into a peaceful state of nothingness but him.

“You are tired, aren't you?”, he whispered into her ear.

“Hmm”, she hummed.

She could feel his smile on the side of her head where his lips were lightly touching her skin.

“I take that as an yes”

Phil waited for the song to end and then he led her from the dance floor, ignoring all the disappointed looks but Melinda knew he didn't catch them anyway, to their table to gather their things and to bid their goodbyes to his former classmates.

Brian shook his hand firmly and Nicole and Carol stood up to hug him.

“I hope we don't have to wait this long for us to see us again,” Carol said and handed him a little paper with her contact numbers along with Brian and Nicole. Phil smiled at them warmly.

“Now that the kids are out of the house, we certainly have more time for meetings far away” he replied. Melinda nodded and waved them goodbye.

Phil put his arm around her shoulders and together they made their way out of the big hall.

Phil was handed more contact cards along his way out along with friendly touches on his back and warm goodbyes.

Back at their hotel room, when Phil oh-so-helpfully offered to help her out of her dress, she teasingly hit him on his chest and mocked him: “ Seems like the nerd is actually the most popular guy on campus” she laughed lovingly and then corrected herself “ I am sorry, I mean ` the hot nerd` “

Phil turned an adorable shade of red around his neck and Melinda could only repeat herself:

He never knew or will ever know his own charm.

And she couldn't love him more about that.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. Please leave a comment in whatever way you find suitable! I love you all and for you encouragenment so far! AOS fandom is simply the best!


End file.
